First Impressions 

9/3/2024

A freshness permeates the first week of school with new starts, outfits, and impressions. Unlike the closing of a school year highlighted by graduation goodbyes and excitement for a much-needed break, the first week brings new beginnings and a plethora of amazing possibilities for our colleagues, families, and students. 

Back to school has always felt a bit unassuming, like a blank slate. I, like most parents, implore of my children, “Don’t stress over what you’re going to wear, just be yourself.” However, I recall, not too long ago, how THAT outfit with THOSE shoes seeped confidence and a sense of winning into my world, providing the opportunity to make impressions that secured my safety, belonging, and excellence. 

This first month of school, children and adults alike will be consumed by new impressions, mostly caught up in the impressions we are making. Unbeknownst to all of us the efforts others undertake to make an impression on us, including those we like to say they “don’t care what people think” or “don’t care about School”-https://www.edweek.org/leadership/opinion-stop-saying-these-kids-dont-care-about-school/2024/04  

A first impression is an exploration of masks, finding the best social disguise that will influence behaviors and how others perceive us. Colleagues and students use a variety of different masks to achieve safety, belonging, and excellence. No brainer that those with additional burdens and barriers wear a more layered and a more caked-up mask. 

It’s part of human nature. 

In my personal and professional life, and through the myriad identities I embody, I’ve adopted masks that allow me seamless shifting from one space and one situation to another. 

I make no effort to simplify the complex tapestry of others, or the self, because the reality is that we are a dynamic collection of selves, each suited to different aspects of our lived experiences and those we value, love, and encounter. 

Also true is the reality that some impressions are at risk of having cascading effects, delaying safety, belonging, and excellence. Safety grants the permission to step into a mask. Belonging peels back guarding masks, bringing us closer to vulnerability and a deeper engagement with others. I once read somewhere, “The happiest people among us are those with the least difference between their masks.” 

Here are 5 impressions that foster safety and belonging for ourselves, our colleagues, and our students and their families… 

1. Acceptance that invites curiosity and authenticity, a fundamental component to our psychological well-being. Acceptance means ditching judgment and control over others. Curiosity means asking for input, permission, feedback, and insight. 
2. Empathy, practicing and embracing empathy can help reduce stress and lead to inner peace. 
3. Opportunities for cooperative and universal communal learning, recalling how prior to the Era of Print, oral traditions were the primary means to learning, belonging, and growth. 
4. Choice or alternative paths to understanding, without the looming fear of dilution, repercussions, or judgment. 
5. Recognition that learning demands some fluidity of our identities over rigidity, making space and time for genuine connections, fostering environments where empathy and open-mindedness flourish. 

In a short summer break, it’s likely that the nature of who we are in relation to others has transformed. As we age, we keep smaller social networks and some friendships fare better online or in distance. For our students, summer provides an opportunity to reflect, grow closer with some friends while struggling to maintain connections with others. As we prepare to reset and grow in relationships, keep in mind first impressions can empower or disempower goals and friendships. Also remember our collective efforts around safety, belonging, and excellence for our students and colleagues begins this week. 

For more ideas on first impressions and opportunities to brainstorm around safety, belonging, and excellence, please reach out to Ayan Omar, Director of Equity Services. 

8/28/2024

I’ll never forget the substitute teacher who butchered my name during a high school history class roll call, “Ian?” For the umpteenth time, I had to justify my existence by teaching another adult how to accurately pronounce my name, “It’s Ayan, pronounced – ion, like in science, the charged atom.” Sometimes the experience would be so bad that my classmates would exclaim, “There is no one by that name enrolled in the class!” And, so I often wonder about the negative immediate or lifelong impact of misspellings and mispronunciations of the names of people.

In my professional career, I’ve witnessed highly educated and well-respected leaders and educators misspell, mispronounce, and mistake the names of students, staff, and leaders of color. Although the names “Ayan” and “Amran” seem similar, share cultural backgrounds, language and religion, the two individuals are as different in existence as “Joel” and “Joe”.

Achieving Safety, Belonging, and Excellence for our colleagues, students, and families start with knowing, validating, and acknowledging names, especially people with unique names that are already feeling misunderstood within the historical mainstream culture. 

Who is affected? Students and colleagues:

• Learning to express autonomy and find space of belonging. 
• Belonging to our LGBTQIA+ community, navigating systems
• Practicing Islam or who have Arabic names, negotiating identities
• Identifying as Latinx or Latino, combating being renamed or having their two last names forced into hyphenation or erasure. 
• Differentiating Asian Americans, fighting to have their proper names and heritage recognized 
• Who are Indigenous to this land, asking to have their names pronounced and acknowledged in spaces outside of their communities. 
• Identifying as Black/African American, combating mispronunciation, misidentification, and misspelling
• Who are marginalized. 

I learned early to give grace to others. Most of these people will give grace, educate, and share in laughter; however, grace isn’t permission to do it again but an opportunity to do better.  

Strategies to do better and be better:

• When possible, be proactive by asking and practicing rather than taking a chance.
  • “Your name is important to me. Can I take a moment to learn how to pronounce it correctly, please?” Wait for their response and then ask them to correct you each and every time that you get it wrong. It will help you learn.
• If you make an error in writing or in conversation, immediately repair harm with an apology and an admission of error. Try to do this in private where possible. Let the individual know that you have a plan to avoid it from happening again.
  • If you write their name incorrectly or autocorrect betrays you, immediately send a message with their name spelled correctly. 
  • If they have emailed you before, copy and paste their name when you are afraid you will still make a mistake. 
• Learn the spelling of people’s names.
• No need to make things awkward. If you forget someone’s name, apologize right away, and ask them to tell you again. Write it down and save it. 

For more, read the NEA Today article,  “Why Pronouncing Students’ Names Correctly is So Important”

Direct Link: https://www.nea.org/nea-today/all-news-articles/why-pronouncing-students-names-correctly-so-important

Names travel with us like a passport, testifying to our unique presence in the community, in the classroom, in the office, and on earth. 

Please, if you make a mistake, don’t be so quick to dismiss it by saying, “I’m terrible with names or faces.” If you feel uncomfortable, others feel it too. If you’re embarrassed, say it. Resist the urge to laugh or shrug it off. Be intentional. Pay attention. Get to know your students and colleagues, especially in an effort to create safety, belonging, and excellence.

Sincerely, 
Ayan (ion)